I Could Never Regret You
by Starrae01
Summary: When Clary sees Jace cheating on her at Pandemonium, what happens? Where will she go? And most importantly, Who will she meet along the way?
1. Chapter 1

Hi guys, this is my first fan fiction, so take it easy ok? Constructive criticism is welcome though. Please enjoy and if you don't, well, I don't know what to tell you... Disclaimer: I don't own TMI, no matter how much I wish otherwise

How could I be so stupid? Clary Fray thought silently to herself while running out of the Pandemonium club. How did this happen? I thought he loved me? All these questions ran through her head as she ran back to the Institute, trying to ignore the desperate pleas behind her for her to stop and turn around. She didn't listen though, she was done with him. She loved him, trusted him more than anyone else and he had the nerve to throw all of it back in his face? And with Kaelie of all people? She hadn't even realized she was in the institute until she saw the picture of her and a smiling Jace staring back at her from her nightstand. She picked it up and threw it at the door, smiling with a sick satisfaction as the glass broke and the picture was scratched down the middle, blocking out over half of Jace's face. She walked to the closet and, almost like a robot, pulled a suitcase out. She set it on her bed, going faster now, not because she was afraid of changing her mind, but because it would be easier if he wasn't here. She took out her art supplies and shoved them at the bottom, followed by her clothes and a couple of weapons. She already had her stele in her belt, so she took it out and started to make a portal. She didn't even know where it would take her, only that it would get her away from here. She was stepping into the portal when a voice she so desperately wanted to avoid it hurt, stopped her in her tracks. Jace. "Clary, please wait! Don't do this, I need you! It wasn't at all what it looked like!".

"Really Jace, that's the excuse you're going to use?"

"Just listen to me please, stay here, give me a chance to explain. Please close the portal so you won't do anything you regret."  
"No, you listen to me Jonathon" when she said that he cringed like it hurt him "I trusted you, loved you and you go and throw my feelings back into my face? You know what I regret? I regret begging Jocelyn to let me into this world, because if I hadn't been so stupid I would have never met you and I could have been saved"  
By now, he was pale and looked like he wanted to throw up. "You don't mean that" he said really quietly looking right into her eyes. In them she saw sadness. Not just sadness, that wasn't the right word for the agony in his eyes. For a second, her tough resolve melted and she wanted to run into his arms and comfort him, but then remembered who was in his arms only a few minutes ago.  
"I do mean it, I mean every single word. I should never have tried to be a Shadowhunter. I should have just let us think we were brother and sister and never tried to dig deeper."  
She picked up her bags she hadn't realized she had dropped in the middle of their "conversation" and walked back toward the portal. Jace turned frantic, shouting, and trying to grab her arms. He succeeded and caught her arm. She needed to say something to make him hurt, just like she hurt him at Pandemonium. She chose her next words carefully.  
"I regret ever meeting you Jonathon Herondale. I regret every good memory, every kiss, everything we ever did together"  
The look on his face was painful to look at. Jace, who usually hid his emotions very well, had every emotion he was feeling very clearly etched on his beautiful face. He was broken, as Jocelyn would say.  
She then turned toward the portal and said quietly "Please don't follow me. Don't try to find me either. It will just make it harder." Then she walked into the portal and out of his life. He would of tried to follow her but he was glued to his spot by grief, and anger, but most of all a horrible sadness that swallowed his heart and left his chest feeling heavy. So instead he just watched her fiery red hair disappear into the portal, trying to memorize everything he saw for the last time.


	2. Chapter 2: Where am I?

Where am I? That was the question Clary Fray was asking herself at the moment. She was in the portal now and that airy, no gravity falling feeling was taking ahold of her, but that's not why she was wondering where she was going. One of the reasons was because she didn't picture anywhere and so, for all she knew, she could be on her way to the moon. Another reason she was worrying was because it was taking longer than it was supposed to. Shouldn't I be there already? Finally an end was in view and she was ready for it. She was feeling sick, and she didn't know if it was because the reality of what she just did was sinking in or if it was how long the portal was taking. Probably both. Did I overreact? Did I- Her thoughts were interrupted by an almost exhausted sounding woman, "Will, how many times have I told you to clean your boots before you come back from hunting?" She was now standing in what looked like a dining room with a crystal chandelier and a wooden table and chairs, but it had an old feel to it, like it was from another time. There was a boy with piercing blue eyes and ink black hair sitting at the table next to a fair skinned boy with silver hair and warm silver eyes. Next to the silver boy sat a girl that had fair blond hair and harsh blue eyes. Next to her was a clumsy looking ginger man who had nice green eyes and a kind smile. Then, next to the ginger man, was a youngish looking woman who she would guess was telling the boy with the black hair, Will, not to bring dirty boots inside. The woman looked nice and pleasant, but there was something in her eyes that made her seem older, almost tired. The boy, Will, started to talk, when he finally saw Clary. His eyes got wide and he stood up while the others closely followed, looking at her with watchful eyes. A thought crossed her mind that hadn't before, what if this was a mundane house? But when she looked at them again she noticed that they were all watching her with a graceful caution only Shadowhunters have. She also noticed that the blond girl had on a ridiculous dress with frilly ruffles and flowers made of pink fabric and beads that had a corset. Then she noticed that the younger woman she first heard was wearing one too. It wasn't as big or frilly as the blond girl's but it still had a corset, which Clary thought was utterly ridiculous. She was about to ask why when the blue eyed boy spoke first, "Who are you?" She detected some sort of accent but she wasn't sure whether it was Dutch or Welsh. Apparently she had been silent too long because the same boy was now coming closer and said once again "Who are you?" By now she was a bit irritated, why did this boy think he could just demand things from her? "My name is Clary Fray; I'm a Shadowhunter as well so no need to get your panties in a bunch mister." For a second he looked taken aback by her answer and was about to say something when the young woman who was speaking before intervened. "Well, Clary welcome to the London Institute, I'm Charlotte and this is my husband Henry" she said motioning at the ginger man who was walking over to her. "These 3 are Jem Carstairs, Will Herondale, and Jessamine Lovelace." she said, pointing each of them out. Clary sort of zoned out after Herondale because she was now thinking of Jace, which was something she didn't need at all right now. Oblivious to Clary's zoning out Charlotte continued "Tessa is in the library, but I'm sure you'll meet her soon enough, if you'd like to follow Sophie we can get you a room and you can settle down. We just had dinner but I'm sure Bridget could warm you up some leftovers in a bit." Clary was out of it by then and didn't trust herself to speak so she just nodded a yes and followed a small, brown haired girl who must have been Sophie. When Sophie turned her head a scar that ran from her temple to her chin was revealed and she looked up nervously to see if Clary had seen it. She had of course, it was hard to miss, but from the look on Sophie's face when she thought Clary saw it, gave away that when people saw it they usually did something like gasp or say something about it, plus she felt all the eyes in the room on her so she stayed quiet and smiled at Sophie. You could tell she didn't expect that reaction by the way her face twisted with confusion but she definitely didn't complain. Besides, Sophie was very pretty even with the scar. Clary could feel a bit of the tension go out of the room at her exception of Sophie. For that she was glad because it was tense as if everyone but Charlotte and Sophie were expecting her to just break out and attack everyone. When she got to her room and thanked Sophie for everything she dropped her suitcases, and flopped on her bed, exhausted from the whole day.

A while later she heard a knock on the door and groaned, all she wanted to do was lay down and dream about the good times she had with Jace. She got up and opened the door to find Charlotte with a bundle of what looked like clothes. She invited Charlotte in, and then decided to ask about the corsets.

"Charlotte, if I may ask, why are you and Jessamine wearing dresses with corsets'?"

"Well dear, that's what we have to wear as women of the 18th century." As soon as Clary heard that her eyes bugged out of her head and she yelled.

"EIGHTEENTH CENTURY!" then she put all the pieces together in her head. Somehow, by not picturing where she wanted to go, she went back in time instead. That also explained why it took so long in the portal, and at dinner she didn't even question why Will's last name was Herondale because she was still torn up about Jace, but now it make sense. Will was Jace's great, great, grandfather! A part of her brain wanted to ask about the Herondale's, but the more sensible part was screaming at the other part to shut up because was in the 18th century!

As she was about to freak out, she remembered that Charlotte was there. She turned to her and found the small woman staring at her with confusion. She wiped her face free of the horror she was sure was there and said, "Um, Charlotte, what year is it?" Again the woman looked at her with a strange face. "It's 1881 dear." Charlotte said, slowly like she was trying to calm Clary so she wouldn't freak out again, which is exactly what she wanted to do! Then Clary remembered Magnus. "Charlotte, do you know of a warlock named Magnus Bane?" At this she relaxed a bit. "Yes, I do know of Magnus." Spectacular!

"Do you think I could speak to him as soon as possible?"

"Yes, I'm sure that could be arranged, but may I ask why?" This was the question Clary was hoping to avoid, but if she could trust anyone here, it would be her best bet that Charlotte would be the safest person to confide in. "Well, you see, I was going through a portal in the year 2013 and I ended up here somehow, it's not that long of a story but all I wanted was to get away." She looked at Charlotte and was rewarded with a look of horror that she would guess was similar to the one she wore earlier. But the only thing Charlotte said was, "Well, that explains your clothes." Clary looked down at her 21st century shorts and a t shirt. She was so confused about the corsets and dresses that she didn't ever stop and think of her own clothing. She suddenly got a ridiculous idea. "Wait, did you guys think I was a sort of Prostitute?" she said while giggling a bit. Charlotte got red in the face and answered "Something like that" very quiet. That was the end of the line for Clary. She just busted up laughing and Charlotte wasn't far behind. It wasn't just that, but the absurdity that came with the Idea. Clary Fray a prostitute? Nope, never ever in her wild dreams did she see that coming. Pretty soon there was another knock on the door and it opened to reveal a curious looking Will and Jem. Then the two girls started laughing more at the two boy's faces. She then got a thought she hadn't considered before. _What if it isn't so bad here?_Just as that thought came it went. There was no Isabelle or Alec, no Luke or Jocelyn, and even if she was mad at him, no Jace. Then Will spoke. "What in the world is so bloody funny?" that made them start laughing harder than they were and they started to get stomach cramps so bad it hurt to move but it still didn't stop them from giggling like school girls. It went on like that for a while until the girls got ahold of themselves and Charlotte said "Well I'll give you these so you can change and look like a 18th century woman, ok?" now that Clary knew she was dressed like a prostitute, she thanked Charlotte and was on her way down the hall when the young woman yelled down the hall "I'll send for Magnus tomorrow evening Clary!" She made a mental note to go to Charlotte if she needed a friend or someone to tell her problems too, I mean; she took the "I'm from the future" thing pretty well, which was just what she needed. If Charlotte didn't freak out, Clary had no reason to right? Her thoughts were disturbed by Will, who was now walking toward her with a weird look on his face. He said "What do you need Magnus Bane for?" Crap, this was definitely not what she needed right now. "Um, personal problems..?"

"Well, I'm very good at dealing with personal problems if you know what I mean." He said with a suggestive grin on his face. Well now she was agitated, not necessarily because of what he said, but because of who he reminded her of. All she wanted now was to get away from him before he said anything else that reminded her of Jace.

"Well Mr. Herondale, if I ever need any assistance in deciding what color to paint my walls, you'll be the first person I come too" she said, turning around and walking away. "We could rearrange the bed too if we wanted" he called out behind her, and she could hear the smirk in his voice. Then she responded with something that sounded a lot like "_Arrogant glass-mole!"_


	3. Chapter 3: Uh Oh!

**Hey guys! I'm planning on updating every Tuesday, so I have a week to actually think over the story and not rush it because I want it to be as good as it can for you guys:) anyways I'll think about the plot and then on Monday and Tuesday I will work to type it up, ok? Good. Ooh and I forgot to say, but last chapter I used a line in City of Glass, the arrogant glass mole part. Hehe. Did anyone notice that?! Oh I just wanted to say that all of your guys' reviews make me smile, even when my day has been crappy, so thank you to everyone who has reviewed! I love you all so much;) I decided to do a chapter on what Jace was doing and feeling after our favorite red-head left, so here ya go! Ok, enough rambling. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: All the characters belong to Cassie Clare.**

_What have I done? _It was probably the millionth time he'd asked himself that same question the past couple hours. It wasn't his fault of course, it was Kaelie's but he was so depressed it didn't matter at the moment. He could've, no, should've done something to make her stay. He should have grabbed her and hugged her close and convinced her with sincere, caring words and soft passion filled kisses that it wasn't what it looked like. He should've followed her instead of standing there like an idiot, watching the love of his life walk through that portal in all of her fiery glory. But he didn't. That was the problem. He didn't. He stood there and let her walk away and didn't even try. She probably thought he didn't even care the way he watched her go. But he did. Oh boy, he really did. She was the first person he let in all the way, that he truly and completely loved with his whole being. Sure, he let Alec and Isabelle in, but that was little pieces through the years. No one knew him better than Clary, and he can't believe she would ever even doubt his love for her, but she did, and it was his fault. Yeah, Kaelie was the one who kissed him, but he should have done a better job of proving his love for her. He should have made sure that no matter what happened she knew that he still loved her. Just then Izzy came in with a tray of food and sat down on his bed. "You need to eat Jace, you haven't eaten since lunch and that was 10 hours ago." He rolled over, away from Izzy and spoke quietly, his voice hoarse from not talking to anyone for the last 10 hours.

"Go away Izzy, I'm not in the mood to eat"

"This is ridiculous Jace. Do you really think Clary would want you to try and starve yourself? I know the answer and it's no, Clary would never want you to cause yourself any type of harm, even if you deserved it" she joked half-heartedly, but he was not in the mood for joking right now.

"Ok, I've had enough of this whole mope-fest act. What did you do to get her to leave you anyway?"

Now this was exactly what he did _not_ want to talk about.

"Izzy I said I don't want to talk about it so just leave it will you?" he said a bit sharply, but it didn't discourage Izzy in the least.

"Fine if you don't want to tell me, tell Alec at least."

He realized then that he _did_ need someone to talk to and Izzy was there anyway, I mean, what did he have to lose? He already lost everything he wanted, everything he needed.

"Fine, this is what happened. We were at Pandemonium and we had just got done dancing and needed a drink, so Clary volunteered to go get drinks. Well after she left I turned back toward the crowd, looking for Alec, and then suddenly I felt hands on my arms, turning me around and suddenly lips were on mine. It didn't hesitate to kiss back because I thought it was Clary, I mean who else was going to kiss me? But then I realized it felt wrong, it didn't feel like the fireworks I got when I kissed Clary, it felt rushed and slobbery and messy. Then I opened my eyes and found Kaelie instead of Clary. I tried to push her off, but Clary saw us first and ran out of the club. I tried to run after her, tried to beg her to stay, tried to convince her it wasn't what it looked like. I tried everything but in the end it wasn't enough."

His voice was quiet and filled with sorrow and when Izzy looked up she saw his eyes were filled with regret and sadness, not a regular sadness though, no this was a horrible sadness the swallowed every cell in his body and left behind the shell of a human. Isabelle was suddenly engulfed in a rage so hot it threatened to burn her to a crisp. Kaelie. It was all her fault that Clary left. It was all her fault that her brother's soul was broken. It was all her fault that Isabelle lost a sister and a best friend. Oh boy, when Isabelle was done with Kaelie the little witch was going to wish she was never born.

Meanwhile, Alec was trying to figure it all out. He knew that Clary had left but he had absolutely no idea why. All he knew was that his best friend, his brother, his parabati, was beyond broken-hearted. He wanted to talk to Magnus soon, maybe see if he could use a locater spell to find the young red-head, but at the same time he didn't want to seem pushy. The poor warlock had been running around like a chicken with its head cut off doing favors for the Shadowhunters. Oh well, this was important and he just hoped that Magnus would understand. He then set off to find his warlock.

*TMI*

After Clary had her argument with Will she had gone to try to find everyone to introduce herself again now that she wasn't dressed like a prostitute. She was walking to the dining room and observing the halls and décor, I mean, it's not every day you get to go back in time to Victorian England. She made a mental note to go meet some people in town later. She walked past a corridor of rooms when suddenly she stopped dead in her tracks. She heard a song, but it wasn't just any song. It was a song Jace had played her on a piano before. For a second she got the crazy idea he might have somehow came here, but then she noticed that the pitch was higher and sweeter sounding than a piano. She walked toward the room with the music, somewhere deep down still secretly hoping that Jace had found his way here and was in this mysterious room, bit the realistic part was of her knew that Jace wasn't here. She pushed open the door a crack and saw the silver boy named Jem with a violin in hand playing the song she'd heard a million times. When she looked closer she saw the older boy's eyes were closed and he looked like he was in some sort of reverie. She also noticed how beautiful he looked, don't misunderstand, Jace was beautiful in his own way, but this boy looked fragile, like he was made of fine glass and could be broken easily. She had the urge to draw him, and made another mental note to do it later. She tried to back out of the room quietly, not wanting to break the spell he was under but being the klutz she was, she tripped over her own feet backing out and flopped over onto the ground. Jem's eyes opened immediately and instantly became aware of everything around him. When he saw Clary on the ground he got a small, amused smile on his face and came over to help her up.

"I see you've found your way to my room, but if I may ask, why Miss Fray?" he said, his earlier amused smile gone and in place a smile so warm and kind she knew he was someone she could go to if she needed anything.

"Oh you can call me Clary, mister..?"

"Carstairs."

"Ah yes, mister Carstairs. And as the reason I was in your room in the first place was because I heard your magnificent playing and wondered who was to credit." It was half true, she did want to know who was playing and it was wonderful, but also because a crazy part her thought with a blind hope that it had been Jace who had been playing.

"Thank you Clary, but I am not very great compared to many others."

"Well I could never ever play like that so it sounds pretty spot on to me." At that he got a confused look on his face. "Pardon me?" he asked.

"Oh you mean 'spot on'? It's just an American saying that means 'good', sorry about that" his face relaxed after that and he laughed. "It's quite ok Clary, but between Tessa and you I might have to take an American slang class." She then said,

"Oh yes, I've heard of her, do you know where I could find her? She is the only person I have heard of but not met."

"Well she would probably be in the library. I could show you there if you want?" She had to smile at how kind he was.

"No, I'm ok, I want you to stay here and play the violin like an angel. Do you know if angels play the violin? Now I really want to know." She said jokingly, but then she noticed a slight pink blush spread over his pale features so she stopped laughing and said a bit awkwardly "Well thanks for the directions."

"No problem, see you at supper Clary." Then she walked out and shut the door, leaving Jem to ponder over what exactly he thought of the strange new girl.

After leaving Jem, Clary decided to go meet the infamous Tessa. She was surprised at how easy it was to find her way around the new institute and was at the library in no time. She didn't want to disturb anyone who was in there so she quietly opened the door and slid inside, looking around. The library was big, maybe bigger than the one in New York. Books were stacked everywhere, thick and skinny, tall and short. The she saw a comfy looking area in the middle of the library and heard two voices talking. She looked over and saw Will talking to a girl who must have been Tessa. She had medium chocolate brown hair and was pretty tall like Isabelle. She wore a plain faded dress and when she turned her head Clary saw her eyes were an amazing shade of grey. She was quite pretty; with lose tendrils of curly brown hair falling into her face. Then she noticed Will, and she really took the time to study him this time. He was quite attractive with his ink black hair that clashed with his pale skin, making him look like some black and white figure from the old TV shows. Then he had those mesmerizing deep blue eyes that could probably stare into your soul if they wanted to. But she also saw the look on his face when he was talking to Tessa. It looked innocent and vulnerable and Clary had a feeling that he didn't look like very often. She didn't want to interrupt whatever they were talking about, but she did want to meet Tessa._ Well, it's now or never, _she thought to herself. She walked in and the two noticed her almost immediately. As soon as Will saw her his look of vulnerability and innocence went away and his mask of arrogance and over confidence was back. He stood up and said "Back for my offer so soon miss Fray? I know I'm irresistible but I thought it would be at least a couple hours before I saw you again, and must I say my version involved a lot less clothes and a lot more skin."

"Will!" Tessa yelled horrified at what had come out of her friends' mouth.

"No, it's quite alright, where I come from I know quite a bit of people that talk like that miss..?"

"Gray, Miss Tessa Gray, but you can call me Tessa. And even then it is no excuse for Will to act like that, he isn't a child!" Tessa said a bit aggravated.

"Really Tessa, it isn't a huge deal, I've dealt with people worse than Mr. Herondale" Clary said, trying to convince the other girl it was no big deal. Tessa looked at her with a doubtful expression but let it go.

"Well ok then. Forgive me for being rude Miss Fray, but were you looking for someone special when you came in here?"

"Please call me Clary, and I was actually looking for you Tessa." At this the other girl looked a bit confused, but quickly cleansed her face of any emotions. She then said "Me? But you hadn't met me yet."

"That was why I was trying to find you silly, so I could meet you. I had heard quite a bit about you in the short time I'd been here and I wanted to make sure I met the famous Tessa." Tessa's cheeks reddened a bit at the end but all she said was "Well I appreciate that Clary."

"I hope we'll be friends." Clary said randomly, wanting to make a better impression on this girl for some reason. She wanted to be friends with this girl for multiple reasons, but at the moment she couldn't figure them out. Then an irritated sounding grunt came from behind them and they remembered that Will was still there. Sometime during their short conversation they had forgotten he was there and he did not sound happy about that. "I'll have you know that I feel very cheap at the moment." He said, sounding actually hurt. But Clary sudden didn't care at the moment. She felt an unexpected need to see Jace grow up inside of her, something she didn't need right now. She just wanted to curl up into a ball and sleep. Something else Clary didn't need was Will's snarky sarcastic comments to remind her of Jace more than she already was. In moments she quickly felt trapped and suffocated. "Yeah yeah, I bet you did Will." She said unenthusiastically. "Goodbye Tessa," she felt lightheaded now. "I'll see you- I'll see you at dinner." She stuttered, wobbling on her feet now. "Well someone is a tad bipolar aren't th-" Will cut himself off when he saw the expression written on Clary's face, but it was too late. She fell forward on her way out of the library right as Jem was walking in looking for Clary incidentally, and let's just say that he found who he was looking for, seeing as she fell right into him. Then Jem wobbled on _his_ feet and tipped over and landed on his bum as Will tried to catch his parabati, which then made Will tumble over as well. Tessa would have laughed if this hadn't been as serious as it was. Clary was in the middle of the dog pile, and it looked like she was unconscious. Both Will and Jem shot up like a bullet and Jem tried to shake her awake. When it didn't work the Will scooped her lithe body up bridal style and ran out the entrance of the library. Even if she _was_ hurt, Jem felt a small, unexpected pang of jealousy shoot through him as he saw his best friend carried the small red-head to the infirmary. He shook his head,_ come on Jem, don't do this to yourself_, he silently warned himself.

When Will got to the infirmary Charlotte was luckily already there tending to one of the injuries Henry earned from one of his inventions. As soon as she saw them come in though she dropped the older mans' hand and rushed over to meet them. "What happened?!" she exclaimed

"Well Charlotte, we were in the library when she collapsed on us, no warning or anything." Panted Tessa who had just gotten there. They laid her down on one of the cots and Charlotte started searching her body for any unusual marks or injuries. Clary started to murmur something unintelligible which was good because it meant she wasn't seriously hurt. After a while her murmurs got louder and sounded like 'Jace,'

"Who is this Jace?" Will asked curiously.

"I'm not sure, but it looks like we'll have to find Magnus sooner than we thought." Charlotte said sounding a bit worriedly.

**Sooooo, whaddya think? Like I said before, all of your reviews make me smile really big and creepily. Hehe. I love you guys so much, each one of you mean the whole entire world to me**** if you have any suggestions I'm open to consider them so review please! And if you don't have any suggestions …well you should review anyway to make me happy and remember that reviews make me write faster(;**


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